For You ( but not for me)

For You - C.R. Guiliano


When I first read this blurb I thought it would be a very emotional story. Two men in love and committed to each other but torn by irreconcilable differences.
I was also hoping for some major groveling, because I am a huge fan of a good grovel.

It's told in flashbacks between four years prior and two years prior, one year prior and present day. 
So we start the story pretty much at the end of their relationship and see how it slowly disintegrated.
We get both Jeremy's and Graham's POV, which I always like. It helps me understand both of these men and I could see they were both really suffering because of the end of their relationship.
Graham is out and has been since he was a teen, but Jeremy isn't and really doesn't see anyway he can be. He fears for his job, his family's reaction and other consequences. 
It causes more and more friction between the men, despite them being very much in love. 
“Graham had never thought he’d find the man he was destined to spend the rest of his life with, but he had and he couldn’t be happier. He quickly pushed the dissatisfaction that Jeremy wouldn’t come out of the closet to the back of his mind, something he did every time the thought crept up on him.”

I felt for both men, I completely understood Graham, he couldn't keep pretending Jeremy is nothing more than a friend and Jeremy refuses to even talk about why he isn't going to change the situation. I also felt for Jeremy, he's afraid, he won't even think about the possibility of coming out, he's almost paralyzed by the fear of the unknown consequences.
“He loved Jeremy more than anything, but how were they to live happily together if the only place they could be themselves was behind closed doors?”

Unfortunately the way the story was told, with the flashbacks and the somewhat formal language, the lack of contractions (“I have something I need to tell you, and it cannot wait.” “He’d taken a taxi over so his car would not give away he was here.”)kept me at a distance.
Also the couple was apart for most of the story, suffering and bemoaning the loss of the other but again I just didn't feel as much as I had been hoping to. Then the resolution was actually a little anticlimactic and there was no groveling, all that left me feeling a little let down.